Sunday, September 23, 2012


So the new iPenis 5 came out and everyone just HAS to have one.  It's just SO much better than the iPenis 4S. I call them iPenis' because that's what they are- that's how people hold and fondle them anyway.  "Check out this cool new app on my iPenis!" they say and "Watch what happens when I jerk it this way!  Oh Oh Oh! Watch what happens when I flick the foreskin!"  Which, as always, is followed by the inevitable, "So, what kind of phone do you have?"  You should see the look on peoples' faces when I whip out my flip phone.  They ask how a person who works in the IT industry doesn't own a smartphone.  You want to know what I use my phone for?  A PHONE.  I don't want to be one of those people who stand around fascinated by their iPenis, holding it lovingly in their hands, playing with it- just like their penis in a public place.  Frankly, I find it obscene.  The following is a clip of people who think they looking at the newest iPhone 5, when in reality, it's the same old iPhone 4...

Yuppies are the biggest idiots on the planet- so eager to piss their cash away on the newest fads.  How pathetic.  You stupid, stupid douche-tools.

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